Daniel Clay Asks: Do You Know What 'Li;;;;;;;;’[T}T.' Means?

Hello Hedge Enders.  A bit of a departure from the norm this week. I’m going to write about something local for a change and I’m also going to write about something that’s been featured on the esteemed pages of this website several times over the past few weeks.  Before I get too far into it, though, I want you to do me a favour and imagine the following scenario:  

    You’re reading my article and getting close to its tense and exciting finale (I know, I know, bear with me) when all of a sudden, mid-sentence, the article suddenly comes to an abrupt halt with a load of symbols like this;;;;;;;;’[T}T.

    What would you do? 

    A:    Sigh and wonder why you even bother reading an article written by an idiot.

    B:     Not even bother to sigh or wonder why you bother reading an article written by an idiot, just promise yourself you’ll never waste another second reading one again.

    C: Think ‘that’s a bit strange, it’s not even a proper word, let alone an ending’ then get on with the rest of your life.

    D:     None of the above, you stopped reading long before the article came to a strange and sudden halt and got on with the rest of your life.

Chances are you’ll have done either A, B, C or D.  Except, perhaps, for CarrieAsh or Belinda G, who’ve both had first aid training and would possibly think along the following lines:

Hmm, Daniel spends a lot of time at his keyboard which means he probably touch-types. 

He’s a writer who most likely drinks too much and eats the wrong types of food and sits in a slumped position for hours on end every day of his life. 

He’s knocking on a bit and quite often seems mildly depressed. 

He’s been married for quite a long time. 

He was also getting towards the end of his article and possibly pausing while he thought, well, I’ve written what I wanted to say in a concise and vigorous manner, but how am I meant to round it all off in a way that will entice readers to come back and read another article next week?

Which means his fingers would have been resting on the home-keys of his keyboard.

Which means the little finger on his right hand would have been on the semi-colon.

Which, from the strange looking symbol that finished his latest article, seems to have suffered from  violent and repeated downward pressure at the same time as the index finger of his right hand spasmodically twitched forwards at a slight right-angle, slipping from the ‘f’ key and hitting ‘t’ key a couple of times. 

Suggesting some sort of chest pain rushing through the left side of Daniel’s body, causing him to slump to his right.

Then twitch sporadically a couple of times, explaining the brackets and the full-stop.

    That’s right, Hedge Enders.  I’ve had a heart attack, and most of you lot, due to a basic lack of first aid training, wouldn’t even have known about it till next Thursday when a brand new columnist arrived.

    Shame on you, shaking your heads and getting on with the rest of your lives while I sat slumped at my keyboard.  And shame on me to be fair, because my first aid knowledge is terrible.  I probably wouldn’t even have guessed I was dead.  The difference between me and you lot though is you all interact with other people.  Many of you have families.  Some of you possibly even have friends.  Other than my wife I haven’t seen another living person in nearly three years, and we’ve agreed not to resuscitate each other:  She sits downstairs and watches TV, I sit up here typing and hoping for some sort of end.  So there’s no point in us learning first aid. 

For the rest of you, though, it might actually come in really handy one day:  As CarrieAsh pointed out a few weeks ago, St John Ambulance have recently estimated up to 150,000 people die in the UK each year due to the fact those around them don’t know how to administer basic first aid:  That’s four-times more than the amount of people who die of lung-cancer each year; and that, all joking aside, is a sobering thought.

    And, as Belinda G has pointed out on more than one occasion, Hedge End has a St John Ambulance Division that meets every Thursday.    That’s right, Hedge Enders.  You can learn basic first aid skills without even leaving the village. 

For anyone who’s interested, as well as teaching first aid to children and adults for free, St John Ambulance – which, unlike Scouts and Guides, isn’t gender exclusive – also covers a range of activities designed to equip younger members with life skills in a fun and safe environment: 

For Badgers there are up to fifteen “paws” to go for across a range of Creative, Active and Healthy and Caring schemes. 

For Cadets, there’s the Grand Prior Award, which sees them complete courses across a diverse range of activities including photography, sports and fire prevention.  Cadets over the age of fourteen can participate in the Duke of Edinburgh Award as well.  

Cadets are also able to participate in running Badgers, and those who attain first aid qualifications can represent St John Ambulance at local events such as firework displays, carnivals, fetes, and festivals.  There’s even the opportunity to go further afield and attend events such as the Heavy Horses Weekend at Southsea.  Once a year two Cadets from the county are given the chance to go to a London based award ceremony attended by Princess Anne.  As well as character building and good fun, these experiences can look great on a college application or CV.

Evenings are split into two age-banded sections:  Badgers (aged five to ten) are welcome between six and seven p.m. and Cadets (aged ten to eighteen) between seven-thirty and nine.  Any parents or adults who would like to learn first aid or, even better, get involved in running the meetings, are more than welcome to take part in either or both of the sessions.

     If you or your children would like to attend the meetings to see first-hand what goes on then drop in on any Thursday or call 01489 790807 (between 5:45pm-9pm every Thursday (excluding school holidays (calls may be monitored or recorded (but probably won’t be)))) for more details.  As well as having the chance to make friends and enjoy a fun-packed, informative evening, you might just end up saving somebody’s li;;;;;;;;’[T}T.